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| My little angels! |
Growing up my Mom was, I'd say hyper vigilant. She was a big True Crime reader and having such a rough pregnancy, I think she was always in fear of losing me. So, we went through the drills. No water, no strangers, no going anywhere she didn't know where I was, no this and no that! Porch lights come on, you better get your but home! LOL She was and is an excellent Mother!
Even with all her rules, and though out precautions I still got into some really dangerous situations. The scariest time, well one of them, I'd say was when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I don't remember all the details of course because I was a kid and to me nothing was wrong but for my Mother, she was left devastated.
Apparently, there was some confusion. I normally would stay with my neighbor and babysitter after school until my parents got home. This day, when my mom called to check on me. She was told I was not with the babysitter and that's when all hell broke loose. She is immediately frantic, calls the bus driver, who states she dropped me off but there was a weird guy walking down the street when she dropped me. Panic sets in, cops are called. She always, always called the cops as soon as she thought something was wrong. This would not be the first time for her, as I got older, she had to do that again.
Long story short. The cops came, did the big search in our woods with the canines. She's calling everyone know one has seen me. She makes the call to my Dad, to "Come home, Jenny's missing". As a parent, it makes me tear up even writing those words. I can't imagine what they were going through. The pain, terror, and heartache not knowing where their child was. There only one.
Around eight or so that night, my babysitter and I pull up in the driveway. My mom coming dashing out the house, crying. Beating on the window (because the door was locked) grabbed me and ran inside. I remember seeing her face. I felt so scared and upset for her. She was so terrified. She swooped me up and held me forever. I never did go back to that babysitter after that. We never did really find out what happened or why no one knew where I was but after that, life was different. Not in a bad way, just more caution and aware.
Later that night the cops came to the house to verify I was home, ok, and safe. They did an amazing job! My point to all of this is , you can never be too cautious. At least, that is my belief. We are given the children we have and we need to make darn sure that we are protecting them from danger.
Now, having been brought up the way I was, and having gone through some of my own experiences...I defiantly think there are steps we should take in teaching our children.
One of the best rules I had was having a code word. It was a word that I was to use or ask for if someone tried to take me home or to a stranger. Back in my day, the big thing was for the bad guy to say "hey, you mom or dad is hurt and I need to take you to them". In that case, I was to say "What is my code word?" If they didn't know it, I didn't go. Regardless of who it was. Grandma, a friend of my parents, family.....it didn't matter.
Now, some of you are thinking "what?..that's crazy??" but for me and my parents, it worked really well. I never had to use the word and as a parent now. Have passed on that word to my children. It's a no one can guess kinda words. It's so perfect! I've explained it to them just as it was explained to me. My family does know the word and my child know the word but friends of mine or anyone else does not. That keeps them safe.
So, what are some things you can do to keep your children safe and what do you do if your child is ever missing?
First, and always first...CALL THE POLICE!!!! I can't stress that enough. The minute you think there is a problem. CALL!! Don't wait. Most children that are taken are dead within the first two hours of being taken.
Second, and maybe this is just my beliefs but I'd tell you to pray. Pray for God to protect them, to guide you and the police, to send his angels to watch over them. Even if all you can say is "help me!" I've used that a number of times and it works!!
Thirdly, if they truly are lost contact The National Center for Missing or Exploited Children. They are great and they will get you hooked up to all the resources to help you find your child. You can also call
Fourth, if you have a teenager there is a site called Teen Safe. It does have a trial membership and can be canceled anytime. It was built by parents for parents and is basically a way to track your child's text messages. Nowadays so many of our kids are using social media or texting. This site is a great way to keep tabs on who they are talking to, and where they are. Now, again...some of you are like "that is an invasion of privacy!" To you, I'd say this, I am the parent. It is not my job to be liked, to be their friend, or to enable them to become yucky people. I was raised fairly strict and have found my parenting skills are much the same and you know what? I'm a good kid. I had a few bits of trouble but all in all. I was good.
Fifth, know who their friends are. Talk to them. We blow it too as parents. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to go back to my child and ask for forgiveness or explain to them how my actions in that certain situation were not the correct one. They are so receptive to that. Children are smart and whether you tell them or not, they know and it affects them.
The last thing is, to be honest with yourself. If you notice they lets say have respect issues? Look at yourself first. Ask...have they learned this behavior from me? Have I shown them the incorrect way in handling an area? Go back to them. Apologize to them, ask them to forgive you. Talk to them about your mistakes. Your regrets and share your story with them. I know for me growing up it helped me so much to hear how my parents were raised, the mistakes and abuse that took place. The pain that was left and the difficulty of getting out. They shared their story with me. I gained so much understanding and it gave me a heart for them. For when they blew it and asked for forgiveness. It also made it easier for me to come to them when I blew it and needed forgiveness myself.
We can all have better families if we truly care about the people in our lives. If we take the time to learn about them, hear their side, and learn from all of our mistakes. It has been a real bonding thing for me and my girls. I tell them everything, within their ability to understand. I know from my experience it made my family closer and that doesn't mean we haven't been through hell and back but we made it out. If you are dealing with issues at home. My advice always looks to yourself first. Where or what are you doing? or What could you do differently? Now, that does not mean I advocate staying in abuse. I most certainly do not. Nor do we let our children go through it. It damages lives and leaves you broken.
Love the people God gives us, honor them the way you want to be honored. Stop before you speak, words hurt and last. Be honest with them and yourself, and always..always love them in any way you can. This world hurts and is full of hard times. Be a safe place for them to fall and come to when they blow it. We are all sinners, we make sometimes, really big mistakes too.
Teach them to Be Alert, Be Safe and Be Aware!
P.S. Not sure how this morphed into a preach session and I apologize. I feel I have tremendous experience with this issue and it is something that means a lot to me. I'm sure I got off track and hope it all makes sense. :)
Thank you again for reading! Take Care!
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